Archive for February, 2006

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Two sides of a view!

February 8, 2006

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room’s only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back.

The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families,their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation.

Every afternoon when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.

The man in the other bed began to live for those one-hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.

The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance. As the man by the window described all this in exquisite detail, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene.

One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by. Although the other man couldn’t hear the band - he could see it. In his mind’s eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.

Days and weeks passed. One morning, the nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.

As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.

Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed. It faced a blank wall.

The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window. The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall. She said, “Perhaps he just wanted to make you happy.”

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Adult Education

February 5, 2006

WINTER CLASSES FOR MEN AT THE LEARNING CENTER FOR ADULTS REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED BY February, 10th, 2006

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.

Class 1

How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays — Step by Step, with Slide
Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 2

The Toilet Paper Roll — Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00for 2 hours.

Class 3

Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor— Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PMfor 3 weeks.

Class 4

After Dinner Dishes — Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM

Class 6

Loss Of Identity — Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7

Learning How To Find Things — Starting With Looking In The Right
Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum
Monday at 8:00 PM , 2 hours.

Class 8

Health Watch — Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PMfor 2 hours.

Class 9

Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost — Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

Class 10

Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday’s noon, 2 hours.

Class 11

Learning to Live — Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM , location to be determined

Class 12

How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion Relaxation Exercises,
Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM .

Class 13

How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy — Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries
and Other Important Dates and Calling When You’re Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PMfor 2 hours.

Class 14

The Stove/Oven — What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

Via Ejaz bhai

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Short Story

February 2, 2006

There is this Fisherman, let’s call him Salman.

Salman goes out fishing each morning, casts his net and gathers his catch and sells them in the market and makes a living out of it. On one occasion he gets up too early and sleep eludes him. So he decides to go fishing any way it’s too dark to go fishing so he strolls by the Bank of the River and waits for the Sun to appear he stumbles upon a sack. This sack is a bit heavy and there were some pebbles in it. Now, when u have a river and a sack of pebbles and a lot of time to kill, the logical thing to do is to throw the pebbles into the river. Salman did just the same. He tried all the things we do Throwing it as far as possible, as high as possible, make the pebbles bounce as many times an possible…..Now with just one stone remaining, the sun rose the stone in his hand began to glow as well damn! The stone was a diamond!!!! That’s when he realized that all those pebbles he had thrown away were actually Precious Stones!!!

End of Story!

Moral is: Don’t get up too early in the morning :-)
Any morals that you want to suggest here ?

via Green Head

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Mullah Nasruddin’s Tigers

February 2, 2006

One day, a student of Mullah Nasrudin went to visit him.

He happened to sneak up from behind, intending to surprise Mullah, when he noticed that he was sprinkling bread crumbs around the perimeter of the garden.

“Mullah, what on earth are you doing?”

“Oh, this? It’s my technique for keeping the tigers away.”

“But Mullah”, the student replied, “there are no tigers for miles around here!”

“Effective, isn’t it?” said Mullah

via Saroosh

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***>>***

February 1, 2006

What if…?

God couldn’t take the time
to bless us today
because we could not take the time
to thank Him yesterday…

What if…?

God decided to
stop leading us tomorrow
Because we didn’t
follow him today…

What if…?

God didn’t walk with us today
because we failed to
recognize it as his day…

What if…?

We never saw another flower bloom
because we grumbled
when God sent the rain…..

What if…?

God stopped loving and
caring for us because
we failed to love and care for others….

What if…?

God took away his message
because we failed to listen
to his messenger…

What if…?

The door to the Mosque
was closed because
we did not open the door of our hearts…

What if…?

God would not hear us today because
we would not listen
to Him yesterday…..

What if…?

God answered our prayers
the way we answer
his call to service

What if…?

God met our needs
the way we give
Him our lives…