Archive for December, 2006
Bluetooth is a standard developed by a group of electronics manufacturers that allows any sort of electronic equipment — from computers and cell phones to keyboards and headphones — to make its own connections, without wires, cables or any direct action from a user
But Why is it called Bluetooth?
Harald Bluetooth was king of Denmark in the late 900s. He managed to unite Denmark and part of Norway into a single kingdom then introduced Christianity into Denmark. He left a large monument, the Jelling rune stone, in memory of his parents. He was killed in 986 during a battle with his son, Svend Forkbeard. Choosing this name for the standard indicates how important companies from the Baltic region (nations including Denmark, Sweden, Norway and Finland) are to the communications industry, even if it says little about the way the technology works.
REVISED COMPANY EXERCISE PROGRAM
The company has discontinued all physical fitness programs since everyone gets enough exercise by:-
Jumping to conclusions,
Flying of the handle,
Beating around the bush
Running down the boss,
Going around in circle,
Dragging their feet,
Passing the buck,
Climbing the ladder,
Wadding through the paperwork,
Shooting the breeze,
Throwing their weight around,
Stretching the truth,
Bending the rules,
Pushing their luck,
And playing hide and seek
Man joined a big Multi National Company as a trainee.
On his first day, he dialed the pantry and shouted into the phone:
“Get me a cup of coffee, quickly!”
The voice from the other side responded:
“You fool; you’ve dialed the wrong extension!
Do you know who you’re talking to?”
“No” replied the trainee.
“It’s the Managing Director of the company, idiot!”
The trainee shouted back:
“And do you know who YOU are talking to, you IDIOT?”
Replied the Managing Director indignantly.
Replied the trainee and put down the phone.
When I born, I Black
When I grow up, I Black
When I go in sun, I Black
When I scared, I Black
When I sick, I Black
And when I die, I Still Black
And you white fella,
When you born, you Pink
When you grow up, you White
When you go in sun, you Red
When you cold , you Blue
When you scared, you Yellow
When you sick, you Green
When you die, you Grey
And you calling me Colored???!!
A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl. Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer’s office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him.
The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions:
Have you any grounds?
Yes, an acre and half and nice little home.
No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?
It made of concrete.
I don’t think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge?
No, we have carport, and not need one.
I mean. What are your relations like?
All my relations still in Poland.
Is there any infidelity in your marriage?
We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player.
Does your wife beat you up?
No, I always up before her.
Is your wife a nagger?
No, she white.
Why do you want this divorce?
She is going to kill me.
What makes you think that?
I got proof.
What kind of proof?
She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom. I can read and It say “Polish Remover.”
A dog thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me… They must be gods!
A cat thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me… I must be a god!
These are actual newspaper headlines gathered from newspapers.
• Include your Children when Baking Cookies
• Drunk gets nine months in Violin Case
• Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
• Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
• Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
• Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
• Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms
• Eye Drops off Shelf
• Reagan Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead
• Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
• Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax
• Miners Refuse to Work After Death
• Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
• Stolen Painting Found by Tree
• Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies
• Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter
I ran into a stranger as he passed by, “Oh excuse me please” was my reply.
He said, “Please excuse me too; I wasn’t watching for you.”
We were very polite, this stranger and I.
We went on our way and we said goodbye.
But at home a different story is told,
How we treat our loved ones, young and old.
Later that day, cooking the evening meal,
My son stood beside me very still.
When I turned, I nearly knocked him down.
“Move out of the way,” I said with a frown.
He walked away, his little heart broken.
I didn’t realize how harshly I’d spoken.
While I lay awake in bed,
God’s still small voice came to me and said,
“While dealing with a stranger, common courtesy you use, but the family you love, you seem to abuse.
Go and look on the kitchen floor,
You’ll find some flowers there by the door.
Those are the flowers he brought for you.
He picked them himself: pink, yellow and blue.
He stood very quietly not to spoil the surprise, you never saw the tears that filled his little eyes.
By this time, I felt very small,
And now my tears began to fall.
I quietly went and knelt by his bed;
“Wake up, little one, wake up,” I said.
“Are these the flowers you picked for me?”
He smiled, “I found ‘em, out by the tree.
I picked ‘em because they’re pretty like you.
I knew you’d like ‘em, especially the blue.”
I said, “Son, I’m very sorry for the way I acted today;
I shouldn’t have yelled at you that way.”
He said, “Oh, Mom, that’s okay. I love you anyway.”
I said, “Son, I love you too, and I do like the flowers, especially the blue.”
Are you aware that if we died tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of days.
But the family we left behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives.
And come to think of it, we pour ourselves more into work than into our own family, an unwise investment indeed, don’t you think?
So what is behind the story?
Do you know what the word FAMILY means?
FAMILY = (F)ATHER (A)ND (M)OTHER (I) (L)OVE (Y)OU