Tourism Tamasha

Now it was a very interesting article published in today’s Dawn …
By Mustansar Hussain Tarar

Once upon a time a full-fledged prime minister of Pakistan visited the Northern Areas to hear out the grievances of the populace. Wherever he went the locals complained about a certain glacier which was forcibly occupied by the Indians, thus dividing their families.

The PM was at a loss as to what these people were complaining about, so he asked his assistants to clarify the matter. He was told that they wanted their glacier back. The PM smiled knowingly and said, “Oh this matter of Gulsher missing has been brought to my notice repeatedly and I assure that the government is giving this matter top most priority. We will bring back this Gulsher Khan wherever he is. Don’t you worry about it”.

Khawja Mehrdad, who served as the principal of Government College Skardu, once participated in a high-level meeting in Islamabad chaired by the then federal minister for education. Khawja sahib complained about the lack of education facilities and funds in Skardu. The education minister haughtily replied, “Well the government is fully aware that in Baluchistan there is a lack of educational facilities and we have chalked out a master plan for the uplift of education in that area. Don’t you worry about it.”

“But sir, I am talking about Skardu,” Khawja sahib said sheepishly.

“Well,” the ‘all-knowing minister’ looked at him with contempt, “This Skardu is in Baluchistan, isn?t it??”

Khawja sahib dare not correct him as he did not want to lose his job.

The situation has not changed drastically since then. Our education minister recently mourned about the declining standards of education and to prove his point made fun of our cricket captain Inzamamul Haq’s poor English. I had then humbly suggested that in future our cricket team should be selected from the waiters of five star hotels as they speak excellent English. Because this suggestion was ignored, our cricket team lost the first Test against South Africa.

But it was our prime minister who bowled a real beauty by giving the target of one million tourists for the preset year to the tourist ministry and all concerned are parroting that this target will be met. I am sure this can be easily achieved by the agencies that can abduct a million tourists from all over the world and bring them to Pakistan, forcibly if necessary, and they can be listed as ‘missing persons’.

If this is not feasible, I have another suggestion. All the city and district nazims should be ordered to collect as many people as possible, pack them in hijacked buses and wagons and take them to the next city as tourists. The Karachiwalas should be dispatched to Quetta and Quettawalas can be sent to Lahore. As a matter of fact, whole villages of the feudal areas could be transported to Dadu or Skardu, and this will be called family tourism. And I am sure the target of one million will be easily achieved. For the nazims and district authorities it should not be much of a problem as they have shown their competence in the past by providing these unwilling masses for the public meetings of the ruling parties.

As a chronic tourist I am overjoyed that year 2007 has been declared as a year of tourism. But how are you going to go about it? Holding senseless seminars, tourist melas, pathetic jeep safaris, camel races, Gandhara week and so on and so forth, repeating for the umpteenth time the same old clich-hat Pakistan is the cradle of ancient civilizations? We have deserts, coastlines, mountains, hospitable populace, and if you want to see a madressa, a visit can easily be arranged with a dozen guards to protect you and you can keep those guards for rest of the visit if you care about you dear life.

There was this meeting some time in the past for the promotion of tourism where the officials were parroting the above-mentioned cliches and were sure that every potential tourist in the world is dying to visit Pakistan.

However, my point of view was rather radical: “Gentlemen, if I were an American or European with a pocket full of dollars, I would be an idiot if I headed for Pakistan. There are better beaches in Goa and Sri Lanka where bikinis will not cause a riot, deserts are much larger and scenic in Afghanistan and Iran. Nepal also has the highest mountains in the world and you cannot beat India for this cradle of civilization crap, so how are you going to entice the potential tourist? I maintain that Pakistan has a potential for the domestic tourism, please forget the gora and concentrate on the local kalas.”

The initial attraction for any white tourist is a law-abiding country where he can roam about freely and safely. Here our police chiefs, advocate generals and even the president is not safe. A gora, even if he is not an American roaming around, is ideal for kidnapping. Even the Chinese friends are not spared. Has anybody seen a white tourist having fun in Peshawar or Miramshaha recently? So much for the law and order situation!

The other factor is the attitude of locals towards tourists. It is, I am afraid, utterly hostile with the exception of Hunza and Baltistan. We have not developed a culture of tolerance towards foreigners and, mind you, before the Russian invasion even the Afghans were very liberal in this respect. Indians are masters of this craft and even Iran is much more tolerant than us Pakistanis.

The other day I had the misfortune of watching a PTV discussion programme regarding this so-called tourism year and it was pathetic. One of the participants, Mr Iqbal from Skardu, raised some very relevant objections regarding the government?s policy and the minister for tourism, lording over the discussion not like a lord but lady because she is a lady, got furious and said, “Don?t malign Pakistan.”

As if the politicians had left any maligning for poor Mr Iqbal! When he raised another point that tourists crossing from China into Pakistan had to travel all the way to Islamabad to procure a climbing permit and then go back from where they started and that can?t these permits be issued in Gilgit or Skardu?

The lady said with a broad smile, “The prime minister is considering the proposal.”

Now I know why our prime minister is so busy, he is considering a proposal that instead of Islamabad the climbing permit should be made available in Gilgit or Skardu. Tough decision to make I am sure. I personally know that Mr Iqbal, who is perhaps a member of Northern Areas council, has done much more for the promotion of tourism than the whole ministry, including the minister. However, at the end of programme the minister was very sweet and told the viewers, “These tourism matters were not addressed for the last one hundred years and it seems that we have opened a Pandora’s box. So be patient, give us time to implement our planned policies.”

I could be wrong but as far as my guess goes, Pakistan was created only about 60 years back. Where did these hundred years come from?

I wish the establishment a very happy tourist year and congratulate them for spending millions of rupees for attracting exactly one million tourists to Pakistan ? no more, no less. By the end of this year if I discover a single white tourist freely roaming about in the streets of Pakistan, I will, if I am alive by then, personally go to Islamabad to shake the hand of the minister, if she is still the minister.

Surfing Muslims unveil ‘burkini’

In a lycra revolution, a cover-all swimming costume is bringing Muslim women on to Australian beaches as lifeguards, unzipping tensions which divided parts of Sydney little over a year ago.

The two-piece “burkini”, popular in the Middle East, is proving key to a reshaping surf lifesaving Down Under — once a bastion of white Australian culture and still a heartland of the country’s sun-bronzed, heroic self-myth.

“I am Australian so I always have the Australian life style, but now with the burkini it just allowed me to participate in it more. We used to always go to the beach, but now that I have the burqini I can actually swim,” Mecca Laalaa, 22, told.

Laalaa is one of 24 young Australians of Arab heritage who recently signed up to a 10-week training course run by Surf Life Saving Australia aimed at widening the racial mix on beaches.

The shift follows race riots between ethnic Lebanese Australians and white Australian youths at Cronulla Beach in Sydney’s south in the lead-up to Christmas in 2005.

Cars, shops and churches were damaged in the violence, which followed an attack on a pair of beach lifeguards.

Laalaa, whose ethnic background is Lebanese-Australian, is relying on a home-grown burkini — a compromise between a burka and a bikini — to keep her covered on Cronulla’s sands.

The full-length lycra suit with hijab head-covering is not too figure hugging to embarrass, but is tight enough to allow its wearer to swim freely. It will soon be manufactured in the iconic red and yellow of Australia’s surf life saving movement.

The burkini is making its appearance during the 100th anniversary of surf life saving in Australia, which began on Sydney’s famous Bondi Beach and has grown to count 115,000 volunteers in more than 300 clubs.

Women were only allowed membership in 1980 and some clubs patrol inland lakes, including Lake Jindabyne near the snow-capped southern Australian Alps.

Zanetti, who sells her burqinis for up to A$200 ($160), hopes to widen the garment’s appeal beyond Muslim women at the beach.

“We are also encouraged in Australia to cover up not due to modesty but for sun protection, so this is not just a modesty aspect swimming suit, it is also a protection against the sun, surf and sand,” she said.

Kalimas

First Kalima

Also known as the Word of Purity or kalima-e-tayyabah.

Arabic

لآ اِلَهَ اِلّا اللّهُ مُحَمَّدٌ رَسُوُل اللّهِ

 Transliteration

Lā ilāha illā-llāh, Muḥammadu-rasūlu-llāh

 Translation

There is none worthy of worship except Allah and Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah

 Second Kalima

Also known as the word of testimony or kalima-e-shahaadat

 Arabic

اشْهَدُ انْ لّآ اِلهَ اِلَّا اللّهُ وَحْدَه لَا شَرِيْكَ لَه، وَ اَشْهَدُ اَنَّ مُحَمَّدً اعَبْدُه وَرَسُولُه

Transliteration

Ašhadu allā ilāha illā-llāhu, waḥdahu lā šarīka lahu, wa ašhadu anna Muḥammadun ʿabduhu wa rasūluhu.

 Translation

I bear witness that none is worthy of worship but Allah, the One alone, without partner, and I bear witness that Muhammad is His servant and Messenger

 Third Kalima

Also known as the word of glorification or kalima-e-tamjeed

Arabic

سُبْحَان اللهِ وَ الْحَمْدُ لِلّهِ وَ لآ اِلهَ اِلّا اللّهُ، وَ اللّهُ اَكْبَرُ وَلا حَوْلَ وَلاَ قُوَّة ِ الَّا بِاللّهِ الْعَلِىّ الْعَظِيْم

 Transliteration

Subhāna-llāhi, wa-l-hamdu li-llāhi, wa lā ilāha illā-llāhu, wa-llāhu akbar. Wa lā hawla wa lā quwwata illā bi-llāhi-l-ʿaliyyi-l-ʿazīm

The second version:

La ilaha ila antha, noorai yahdi allahu linoorihi. muhammadur rasoolullahi imamul mursaleena khatamun nabiyyeen

Translation

Glory be to God and Praise to God, and there is no god But God, and God is the Greatest. And there is no Might or Power except with God, the Exalted, the Great one.

 Fourth Kalima

Also know as the word of unity or kalima-e-tauhid

 Arabic

لا الهَ اِلَّا اللّهُ وَحْدَهُ لا شَرِيْكَ لَهْ، لَهُ الْمُلْكُ وَ لَهُ الْحَمْدُ يُحْى وَ يُمِيْتُ وَ هُوَحَىُّ لَّا يَمُوْتُ اَبَدًا اَبَدًا ط ذُو الْجَلَالِ وَ الْاِكْرَامِ ط بِيَدِهِ الْخَيْرُ ط وَهُوَ عَلى كُلِّ شَئ ٍ قَدِيْرٌ

Transliteration

Lā ilāha illā-llāhu waḥdahu lā šarīka lahu lahu-l-mulku wa lahu-l-ḥamdu yuḥyi wa yumītu wa huwa ḥayyu-llā yamūtu abadan abadan, ḏū-l-jalāli wa-l-ikrām, biyadihi-l-khayr, wa huwa ʿalā kulli šayʾin qadīr.

Second Version: la ilaha illa-anta wahid allah sanialaka muhammadur rasoolullahi imamul muttaqina rasoolu rabbil alameen.

 Translation

(There is) none worthy of worship except God. He is only One. (There are) no partners for Him. For He (is) the Kingdom. And for Him (is) the Praise. He gives life and causes death. And He (is) Alive. He will not die, never, ever. Possessor of Majesty and Reverence. In His hand (is) the goodness. And He (is) the goodness. And He (is) on everything powerful.

Fifth Kalima

Also known as the word of penitence or kalima-e-astaghfar

 Arabic

اسْتَغْفِرُ اللّهَ رَبِّىْ مِنْ كُلِّ ذَنْبٍ اَذْنَبْتُه عَمَدًا اَوْ خَطَاً سِرًّا اَوْ عَلَانِيَةً وَاَتُوْبُ اِلَيْهِ مِنْ الذَّنْبِ الَّذِىْ اَعْلَمُ وَ مِنْ الذَّنْبِ الَّذِىْ لا اَعْلَمُ اِنَّكَ اَنْتَ عَلَّامُ الغُيُبِ وَ سَتَّارُ الْعُيُوْبِ و َغَفَّارُ الذُّنُوْبِ وَ لا حَوْلَ وَلا قُوَّةَ اِلَّا بِاللّهِ الْعَلِىِّ العَظِيْم’

 Transliteration

Astaġfiru-llāha rabbī min kulli ḏanbin aḏnabtuhu ʿamadan aw ẖaṭāʾan sirran aw ʿalāniyyatan wa atūbu ilayhi mina-ḏḏanbi-llaḏī aʿlamu wa mina-llaḏī lā aʿlamu innaka anta ʿallāmu-l-ġuyūbi wa sattāru-l-ʿuyūbi wa ġaffāru-ḏḏunūbi wa lā ḥawla wa lā quwwata illā bi-llāhi-l-ʿaliyyi-l-ʿaẓīm.

 Translation

I seek forgiveness from God, my Lord, from every sin I committed knowingly or unknowingly, secretly or openly, and I turn towards Him from the sin that I know and from the sin that I do not know. Certainly You, You (are) the knower of the hidden things and the Concealer (of) the mistakes and the Forgiver (of) the sins. And (there is) no power and no strength except from God, the Most High, the Most Great

 Sixth Kalima

Also known as the words of rejecting disbelief or kalima-e-rud-e-kuffer

 Arabic

اَللّهُمََّ اِنّىْ اَعُوْدُ بِكَ مِنْ انْ اُشْرِكَ بِكَ شَيئًا وََّ اَنَا اَعْلَمُ بِه وَ اسْتَغْفِرُكَ لِمَا لا اَعْلَمُ بِه تُبْتُ عَنْهُ وَ تَبَرَّاْتُ مِنَ الْكُفْرِ وَ الشّرْكِ وَ الْكِذْبِ وَ الْغِيْبَةِ وَ الْبِدْعَةِ وَ النَّمِيْمَةِ وَ الْفَوَاحِشِ وَ الْبُهْتَانِ وَ الْمَعَاصِىْ كُلِّهَا وَ اَسْلَمْتُ وَ اَقُوْلُ لآ اِلهَ اِلَّا اللّهُ مُحَمَّدُ رَّسُوْلُ اللّهِ

 Transliteration

Allāhumma innī aʿūḏu bika min an ušrika bika šayʾan-wwa-anā aʿlamu bihi wa-staġfiruka lamā lā aʿlamu bihi tubtu ʿanhu wa tabarrātu mina-l-kufri wa-šširki wa-l-kiḏbi wa-l-ġībati wa-l-bidʿati wa-nnamīmati wa-l-fawāḥiši wa-l-buhtāna wa-l-maʿāṣī kullihā wa aslamtu wa aqūlu lā ilāha illā-llāhu muḥammadu-rasūlu-llāh.

 Translation

” O Allah! I seek protection in You from that I should not join any partner with You knowingly. I seek Your forgiveness from that which I do not know. I repent from it (ignorance) I free myself from disbelief and joining partners with You and from all sins. I submit to Your will I believe and I declare: There is none worthy of worship besides Allah and Muhammad (Peace be upon Him) is Allah’s Messenger.”

Via  Wikipedia

Questions in Life & Death Answered

A traveler once came to the mosque to see the Hadhrat Muhammad s.a.w.w. After greeting the Prophet he was asked where he was from. The traveler replied that he came from very far just to get a few questions answered.
Following is the dialogue between the traveler and the Hadhrat Muhammad s.a.w.w..
Traveler : I do not want ad’haab(wrath of Allah) to be written in my account.
Prophet : Behave well with your parents
Traveler : I want to be known amongst people as an intelligent person.
Prophet : Fear Allah always.

Traveler : I want to be counted amongst Allah’s favorites.
Prophet : Recite Quran every morning and evening.

Traveler : I want my heart to always be enlightened.(with Nuur)
Prophet : Never forget death
Traveler : I never want to be away from Allah’s blessing.
Prophet : Always treat fellow creatures well.
Traveler : I never want to be harmed by my enemies.
Prophet : Always have faith in only Allah.
Traveler : I never want to be humiliated.
Prophet : Be careful of your actions.
Traveler : I wish to live long.
Prophet : Always do Sila-e-Rahmi. (Goodness towards blood relations)
Traveler : I want my sustenance to increase.
Prophet : Always be in Wudhoo.
Traveler : I wish to stay free of adhaab in the grave.
Prophet : Always wear pure (Paak) clothes.
Traveler : I never want to burn in hell.
Prophet : Control your eyes and tongue.
Traveler : How do I get my sins forgiven.
Prophet : Always ask forgiveness from Allah with a lot of humility.
Traveler : I want people to respect me always.
Prophet : Never extend your hands of need at people.
Traveler : I want to always be honored.
Prophet : Never humiliate or put down anyone.
Traveler : I don’t want to be squeezed by fishare qabr.( squeezing in the grave)
Prophet : Recite “sura e mulk” often.
Traveler : I want my wealth to increase.
Prophet : Recite “Sura E Waqeya” every night.
Traveler : I want to be safe and at peace on day of judgement.
Prophet : Do Zikr of Allah from dusk to night.
Traveler : I want to be in full attention and concentration during namaaz.
Prophet : Always do Wudhoo with concentration and attention.

Comes to you Via Kadnan’s Blog

A traveler once came to the mosque to see the Hadhrat Muhammad s.a.w.w. After greeting the Prophet he was asked where he was from. The traveler replied that he came from very far just to get a few questions answered.
Following is the dialogue between the traveler and the Hadhrat Muhammad s.a.w.w..
Traveler : I do not want ad’haab(wrath of Allah) to be written in my account.
Prophet : Behave well with your parents
Traveler : I want to be known amongst people as an intelligent person.
Prophet : Fear Allah always.

Traveler : I want to be counted amongst Allah’s favorites.
Prophet : Recite Quran every morning and evening.

Traveler : I want my heart to always be enlightened.(with Nuur)
Prophet : Never forget death
Traveler : I never want to be away from Allah’s blessing.
Prophet : Always treat fellow creatures well.
Traveler : I never want to be harmed by my enemies.
Prophet : Always have faith in only Allah.
Traveler : I never want to be humiliated.
Prophet : Be careful of your actions.
Traveler : I wish to live long.
Prophet : Always do Sila-e-Rahmi. (Goodness towards blood relations)
Traveler : I want my sustenance to increase.
Prophet : Always be in Wudhoo.
Traveler : I wish to stay free of adhaab in the grave.
Prophet : Always wear pure (Paak) clothes.
Traveler : I never want to burn in hell.
Prophet : Control your eyes and tongue.
Traveler : How do I get my sins forgiven.
Prophet : Always ask forgiveness from Allah with a lot of humility.
Traveler : I want people to respect me always.
Prophet : Never extend your hands of need at people.
Traveler : I want to always be honored.
Prophet : Never humiliate or put down anyone.
Traveler : I don’t want to be squeezed by fishare qabr.( squeezing in the grave)
Prophet : Recite “sura e mulk” often.
Traveler : I want my wealth to increase.
Prophet : Recite “Sura E Waqeya” every night.
Traveler : I want to be safe and at peace on day of judgement.
Prophet : Do Zikr of Allah from dusk to night.
Traveler : I want to be in full attention and concentration during namaaz.
Prophet : Always do Wudhoo with concentration and attention.

Comes to you Via Kadnan’s Blog

KitNay AadmI tHay?

Gabbar: Kitne admi they?

Sambha: Sardar 2

Gabbar: Mujhe ginti nahin aati, 2 kitne hote hain?

Samba: Sardar 2, 1 ke baad aata hai

Gabbar: Aur 2 ke pehle?

Samba: 2 k pehle 1 aata hai.

Gabbar: To beech mein kaun ata hai?

Samba: Beech mein koi nahi aata>

Gabbar:: To phir dono ek saath kyun nahin aate?

Samba: 1 k baad hi 2 aa sakta hai, kyun ki 2, 1 se barra hai.

Gabar: 2, 1 se kitna barra hai?

Samba: 2, 1 se 1 barra hai.

Gabbar: Agar 2, 1 se 1 barraa hai to 1, 1 se kitna barraa hai?

Samnba: Sardar maine aapka namak khaya hai, mujhe goli maar do.

28/7=13

There is a group of 7 Sardars who plan to meet their old friend the President Dr. Zail Singh

The Sardars decide to take a taxi.
The taxi driver takes them to Rashtrapati Bhavan.
 
The meter shows Rs. 28/-, so the taxi driver says, “You have to pay me
Rs.28/-.”
 
Now, the Sardars have to share the cost among themselves and so they
decide to divide the total (Rs. 28/-) by the number of people, i.e. 7.
This is how they do the calculation to arrive at the answer:

7 | 28 = 13 ( 7 x 1 = 7, 7 x 3 = 21 ).
7

21
21
–
0
–
 
The driver is exceedingly happy upon receiving Rs. 13/- from each of
the Sardars. He thanks them profusely and the feeling of happiness is
writtern on his face as he leaves them and proceeds his way.
 
Seeing this, the Sardars feel that they may have made a mistake.
 
They decide to ask Zail Singh about it. After all, the fellow was the
President of the nation!
 
They ask Zail Singh to check their calculation of the taxi fare.
 
Zail Singh ponders over the calculations and finally says, “See, I am
not good at division. The process just boggles me but addition is something
I am an expert at. Let us add all the amounts you guys gave to the taxi
driver and check the result. This is how I do for those tax forms I get very
often. The process is slow but is sure.” The other sardars nod their
heads (?) in appreciation.
 
The President writes as shown below and also explains as he writes on:
13
13
13
13
13
13
13

28

i.e. 3+3+3+3+3+3+ 3= 21 and 21+1+1+1+1+1+ 1+1=28 so this checks out.
 
He then says, “Yes, it’s correct. But I can also call my close friend
and Finance man Banta Singh.
 
Banta Singh arrives, and when told of the problem, he replies that
he doesn’t think it is a bad deal but says, “No problem! I will verify it
via mathematical computation. I’ll verify it with multiplication. That
is the best technique for this, you see!”
 
While others watch in admiration, Banta Singh goes on to write as
shown:13 x7 — (7*3=21 ,7*1=7 so 21+7=2
 21
+ 7
  –
 28 This checks out as well.
 –
Then he says, “This is really fine. There should be no problem,
President Sahab. After all, it is correct in all the methods.”
 
 

Team Work

 
1.
If   there r five ppl in a group  then
only one is worker always
end if
 
2.
and other four r “Managers” :D  always 
 
3. goto step no 1 always. never ask for step # 2.
 
All faculties follows same rule by default.