When You’re Caught off sleeping @ work

“It’s okay…I’m still billing the client.”

“They told me at the blood bank this might happen.”

“This is just a 15-minute power nap like they raved about in that time-management course you sent me to.”

“I was working smarter-not harder.”

“Whew! I must’ve left the top off the liquid paper.”

“I wasn’t sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm!”

“This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people!”

“I was testing the keyboard for drool-resistance. “

“I’m in the management training program.”

“I’m actually doing a “Stress Level Elimination Exercise Plan which I learned at the last mandatory seminar you made me attend.”

“This is in exchange for the six hours last night when I dreamed about  work!”

“I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related  stress. Do you discriminate against people who practice Yoga?”

“Damn! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution
to our biggest problem.”

“The coffee machine is broke … “

“Someone must’ve put decaf in the wrong pot.”

“Boy, that cold medicine I took last night just won’t wear off!”

“It worked well for Reagan, didn’t it?”

“I was cross-training for telecommuting. “

“Ah, the unique and unpredictable circadian rhythms of the workaholic!”

“I wasn’t sleeping. I was trying to pick up contact lense without hands.”

“The mailman flipped out and pulled a gun, so I was playing dead to avoid getting shot.”

“Geez, I thought you (the boss) were gone for the day.”

Listening to PDF Files

listen to any PDF instead of reading with Adobe Acrobat Reader 7.0 or 6.0,
and the short cut is:

Ctrl+shift+B - to hear the entire Document
Ctrl+shift+V - to hear the page
Ctrl+shift+C - to resume
Ctrl+shift+E - to stop

‘Switch on’ the speakers, open any PDF File and test…….. ….
Amazing! I just tried it and it worked. I guess now we can actually call it a “PDF reader”

Note: This will not read any PDF file which is generated by PDF Scanner or text in image.

Developer’ Big time NOs

20. “That’s weird…”
19. “It’s never done that before.”
18. “It worked yesterday.”
17. “How is that possible?”
16. “It must be a hardware problem.”
15. “What did you type in wrong to get it to crash?”
14. “There is something wrong in your data.”
13. “I haven’t touched that module in weeks!”
12. “You must have the wrong version.”
11. “It’s just some unlucky coincidence. “
10. “I can’t test everything!”
9. “THIS can’t be the source of THAT.”
8. “It works, but I havn’t been tested.”
7. “Somebody must have changed my code.”
6. “Did you check for a virus on your system?”
5. “Even though it doesn’t work, how does it work?
4. “You can’t use that version on your system.”
3. “Why do you want to do it that way?”
2. “Where were you when the program blew up?”

And the Number One Reply by Programmers when their programs don’t work:

1. “It works on my machine.”

THE SKEPTIC

By: Irfan Zahid Siddiqi

And why the pain, My Lord…”
” For you to appreciate mercy.”
” And why heartache; crying without shedding tears…”
” For you to understand that physical pain is much easier to endure than emotional despair.”
” And why temptation…”
” For you to choose, to decide. I created you an independent thinker.”
” And why Your worship.”
” For you to seek, that which is better.”
” And why the threat of punishment…”
” For you to abstain.”
” And why sorrow…”
” For you to appreciate a moment of true joy.”
” And why joy…”
” To wash away your tears.”
” And why happiness…”
” To show you what lies in wait for the best of you.”
” And who are the best…”
” Those who can, but don’t…And those who can’t, but do.”
” But why is it easier for a fortunate few…”
” It is tougher than you think. For the more they have, the easier it gets to forget. Their test is much more difficult than yours.”
” And why love…”
” To satisfy your soul.”
” And why desire…”
” To teach you to care.”
” And why loss…”
” For you to enjoy a moment of true victory.”
” And why sacrifice…”
” For you to learn that the hand which gives is better than the one that receives.”
” And why the day of judgement…”
” To bestow upon you your reward.”
” And why the books…”
” To guide you, and those sent before you.”
” But why more than one…”
” As there is a time for laughter and a time for tears, so was there a proper time for revelation.”
” And why equality…”
” For all men were made of sand, fire and water.”
” And why is a successful man better than a good human being…”
” For the successful man feels very little, and the good human being a little too much.”
” And why liars…”
” So that you learn to filter all that you are told.”
” And why drink…”
” For you to step into the abyss of sin.”
” And why is life unfaithful…”
” For you deem it a friend.”
” And why insanity…”
” For you to see how fortunate you are.”
” And why sanity…”
” For you to realize how unfortunate you are to be one of the fortunate ones.”
” And why death…”
” To counter creation.”
” And why life…”
” For you to question your existence.”
” And why sin…”
” To help quench the thirst of the fire.”
” And why contradiction…”
” So that you are capable enough to differentiate.”
” And why virtue…”
” For you to be able to appreciate the good in the people.”
” And why pleasure…”
” For you to thank your Lord.”
” And why individuality…”
” To show you the diversity of my creation.”
” And why conformity…”
” For you to see that in conformity lies your true strength.”
” And why is love for sale…”
” So that you can learn to accept defeat with your head held high.”
” Why are tears…”
” To help you regain control of your emotions.”
” And why a conscience…”
” To help you get to the Garden of your Lord.”
” And why infatuation…”
” So that you are able to distinguish it from love.”
” And why hope…”
” To show you that a quitter is a loser.”
” And why opportunity…”
” To show you that a loser is not a quitter, and not always a loser.”
” And how can we differentiate between a lie and the truth…”
” A lie is repeated many times, the truth seldom is.”
” And why lust…”
” So that you can learn to outgrow it.”
” And why are people racists…”
” For in them dwells a sense of insecurity.”
” And why is life different from living…”
” As there is a difference between dreaming and doing, there is a difference between life and living.”
” And why is it that some people are completely misunderstood…”
” For no one is willing to recognize their greatness.”
” And why do we always hurt those we love…”
” For they are the only ones who are sure to forgive you.”
” And why do I disagree with every principle of life…”
” For life disagrees with every single principle of yours.”
” And why do we cry…”
” As it rains to let the storm spend its fury, so you cry to relieve your feelings.”
” And why will…”
” To help you stand strong…”
” And why ability…”
” For you to believe in yourself.”
” And why death…”
” To counter creation.”
” And why trust…”
” So that you can turn your back completely without the fear of being stabbed.”
” And why beauty…”
” To make you believe.”
” Why life after death…”
” For some to enjoy the fruits of their harvest and for others to regret not ploughing the fields.”
” And why Eve…”
” For Adam needed a companion.”
” And why fame…”
” For you to be humble.”
” And why glory…”
” For you to understand that true victory needs not to be highlighted.”
” And why fear…”
” So that you learn to appreciate freedom.”
” And why grief…”
” To help you determine your well-wishers.”
” And why the disbelievers…”
” To show you the rightful owners of the pit of fire.”
” And why patience…”
” So that you can relish a moment of achievement.”
” And why humility…”
” So that you understand that the best from you do not need to boast.”
” And why the burden of taking a favour…”
” So that you can learn to return it.”
” And why torment…”
” So that you are never cruel.”
” And why solitude…”
” For you to reach out to your Lord.”
” And why mercy…”
” To show you that mercy does what the harshest punishment will not.”
” And why a chance to repent…”
” To show you that your Lord is fair.”
” And why Your wrath…”
” To bring an end to the lives of those, who care not for my creation.”
” And why were the innocent slain…”
” For you to respect martyrdom.”
” And why hate…”
” For you to destroy yourselves.”
” And why a heart…”
” To give you a place from which to shed unseen tears.”
” And why peace…”
” So that you can prosper.”
” And why war…”
” For you to know that a day of ruling is better than a thousand years of slavery.”
” And why arrogance…”
” To lead you astray.”
” And why rebellion…”
” To teach you never to adopt to a system that is against the fundamental teachings of your Lord.”
” And why night…”
” To let you set aside your duties and burdens of the day and rest in peaceful worship.”
” And why defeat…”
” To spark the desire to win.”
” And why suffering…”
” To ease your pain.”
” And why enemies, My Lord…”
” For you to have friends. There is no such thing as a true friend. Your enemy’s enemy is your friend.”

And at that he turned around and laughed.
His Lord was amused. ” Why the laughter?” his Lord asked him.
” For today…today, I finally know…”
” And what is that,” his Lord asked him.
” You’re the one with all the answers… You figure it out.”

And sometimes, just sometimes, it makes me wonder.

Nokia shows off Aeon ‘wearable’ concept phone

For more see this, http://www.reghardware.co.uk/2006/10/10/nokia_aeon_concept_phone/

The Salt

  Once an unhappy young man came to an old master and told he was very sad and asked for a solution. 

  The old Master instructed the unhappy young man to put a handful of salt in a glass of water and then to drink it. “How does it taste?” the Master asked. “Awful,” spat the apprentice. The Master chuckled and then asked the young man to take another handful of salt and put it in the lake. The two walked in silence to the nearby lake and when the apprentice swirled his handful of salt into the lake, the old man said, “Now drink from the lake.”

As the water dripped down the young man’s chin, the Master asked, “How does it taste?” “Good!” remarked the apprentice. “Do you taste the salt?” asked the Master. “No,” said the young man. The Master sat beside this troubled young man, took his hands, and said,

“The pain of life is pure salt; no more, no less. The amount of pain in life remains the same, exactly the same. But the amount we taste the ‘pain’ depends on the container we put it into. So when you are in pain, the only thing you can do is to enlarge your sense of things ….. Stop being a glass. Become a lake!”

YA Allah (S.W.T)! You are my Rabb. There is no true god except You. You have created me, and I am Your slave, and I hold to Your Covenant as far as I can.
I seek refuge in You from the evil of what I have done. I acknowledge the favours that You have bestowed upon me, and I confess my sins. Pardon me, for none but You has the power to pardon. Ameen
 

Via Adnan A. Siddiqi

Chicken or Egg?

Chicken or Egg?

Originally uploaded by yasirmemon.

Why did the Chicken Cross the Road?

Tera palla hovay …

George Bush was sitting in his office wondering whom to invade next when his telephone rang.
“Hallo, Mr. Bush!” a heavily accented voice said. “This is Sheeda from Chuk no -3, District Gujrat, Pakistan. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!”

“Well, Sheeda,” Bush replied, “This is indeed important news! How big is your army?”

“Right now,” said Sheeda, after a moment’s calculation, “there is myself, my cousin Basheera, my next door neighbor Karam Deen, and the entire kabaddi team from the village. That makes eight”

Bush paused. “I must tell you, Sheeda that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command.”

“BLOODY Hell ” said Sheeda. “I’ll have to ring you back!”
Sure enough, the next day, Sheeda called again.
”Mr. Bush, it is Sheeda, I’m calling from Chuk no-3 Gujrat, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!”

“And what equipment would that be, Sheeda?” Bush asked.

“Well, we have two combines, a donkey and Amjad’s tractor.”
Bush sighed. “I must tell you, Sheeda, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I’ve increased my army to 1-1/2 million since we last spoke.”
“Oh teri (oops)…..” said Sheeda. “I’ll have to get back to you.”
Sure enough Sheeda rang again the next day. “Mr. Bush, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne …… We’ve modified Amjads’s tractor by adding a couple of shotguns, sticking on some wings and the pind’s generator. Four boys from Sahiwal have joined us as well!”
Bush was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. “I must tell you, Sheeda, that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I’ve increased my army to TWO MILLION!”

“Tera pala hove ….” said Sheeda, “I’ll have to ring you back.”
Sure enough, Sheeda called again the next day. “Mr. Bush! I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the war.”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” said Bush. “Why the sudden change of heart?”

“Well,” said Sheeda, “we’ve all had a long chat over a couple of days and decided there’s no way we can feed two million prisoners!!. “