Archive for June, 2008
http://www.humorix.org has some splendid slogans dug from across the world. A few of my favourites:
# A computer without Windows is like a fish without a bicycle
# Scared of speed? If so, then try Windows.
# Windows and DOS — a turtle and it’s shell (<– shell.. got it?)
# The word “Windows” is a word out of an old dialect of the Apaches. It means: “White man staring through glass-screen onto an hourglass…”
# Bugs come in through open Windows.
# I still miss Windows, but my aim is getting better.
# Hiroshima ’45…Tschernobyl ’86…Windows ’95… Windows ’98…
# A fool and his money are soon using Windows.
# Windows is a pane in the ASCII
# Microsoft broke Volkswagen’s world record: Volkswagen only made 22 million bugs!
# I once heard Bill Gates say, “WHAT?!?! Netscape caused an ‘invalid page fault’??! Only Microsoft programs have the code to do that!”
# Windows found – Remove? (Y)es (S)ure (F)ine (O)K (G)reat!
# Two computer people discussing those old stories about Bill Gates’ name adding up to 666 in ASCII:
“I hear that if you play the NT 4.0 CD backwards, you get a satanic
“…That’s nothing. If you play it forward, it installs NT 4.0!“
# To segfault is human; to bluescreen moronic.
# Why use Windows, when linux gives you the whole house?
# The best Windows accelerator is that which works at 9.8 m/s2!
# Computers are like air conditioners, dont open Windows if you want them to work properly.
# Micro$oft should switch to vacuum cleaner business, where people actually want their products to suck
To finish it off, “The box said, works with Windows Vista or better… so I installed linux!”
The great news about life is that it doesn’t happen all at once; it happens in small steps. And here is more great news — you don’t have to know all the steps to get started. All you have to do is focus on what is in front of you and take the next step. As you continue on your journey, the steps will be revealed. All you have to do is keep taking the steps.
In the hit movie “The Secret” Jack Canfield explains that you can make a cross-country trip in the dark with your headlights revealing only a few hundred feet in front of you at any given time. You don’t need to see the stretch of road laid out in front of you; all you have to see is where you will be going next. Many people get hung up on the “how” and want all the details before they dare to venture off. Knowing exactly how something will work is impossible until you do it. The “how” is none of your business. Your job is to become crystal clear about what you want and then be willing to take the first step toward getting it.
Not knowing the “how” doesn’t mean that you won’t have a plan. You certainly know the destination (goal), which will help you back into a plan to get what you want. Once you have your general plan, be willing to be flexible. I had a map on every road trip I ever took, but I still ended up getting lost, taking detours, and had amazing experiences that I never expected. That’s exactly how life works. Yes, you will have a plan and, at the same time, you will be willing to tweak it as you proceed — one step at a time.
You cannot get there from here, but you can get there by taking one step at a time. There are no short cuts or big leaps that will get you there any faster. It will take the time it takes; but, you will get there if you are persistent and consistent with your efforts. Each step is an important one, and one not to be missed. Although the end goal is important, it is only one part of the journey. The journey to the goal is actually where the fun and excitement happen; so don’t rush your trip. Have fun, enjoy each step, and celebrate when you reach your goal.
There was a little boy visiting his grandparents on their farm. He was given a slingshot to play with out in the woods. He practiced in the woods, but he could never hit the target. Getting a little discouraged, he headed back for dinner.
As he was walking back he saw Grandma’s pet duck. Just out of impulse, he let the slingshot fly, hit the duck square in the head and killed it. He was shocked and grieved! In a panic, he hid the dead duck in the wood pile, only to see his sister watching!
Fatima had seen it all, but she said nothing. After lunch the next day Grandma said, ‘Fatima, let’s wash the dishes.’ But Fatima said, ‘Grandma, Ahmed told me he wanted to help in the kitchen.’ Then she whispered to him, ‘Remember the duck?’ So Ahmed did the dishes.
Later that day, Grandpa asked if the children wanted to go fishing and Grandma said, ‘I’m sorry but I need Fatima to help make supper.’
Fatima just smiled and said, ‘Well, that’s all right because Ahmed told me he wanted to help.’ She whispered again, ‘Remember the duck?’ So Fatima went fishing and Ahmed stayed to help.
After several days of Ahmed doing both his chores and Fatima’s, he finally couldn’t stand it any longer.
He came to Grandma and confessed that he had killed the duck. Grandma knelt down, gave him a hug and said, ‘Sweetheart, I know. You see, I was standing at the window and I saw the whole thing, but because I love you, I forgave you. I was just wondering how long you would let Fatima make a slave of you.’
Thought for the day and every day thereafter?
Whatever is in your past, whatever you have done… and the devil keeps throwing it up in your face (lying, cheating, debt, fear, bad habits, hatred, anger, bitterness, etc.)…whatever it is…You need to know that Allah was standing at the window and He saw the whole thing. He has seen your whole life. He wants you to know that He loves you and that you are forgiven.
He’s just wondering how long you will let the devil make a slave of you.
The great thing about Allah is that when you ask for forgiveness, He not only forgives you, but He forgets. It is by Allah’s grace and mercy that we are saved.
Go ahead and make a d ifference in someone’s life today. Share this with a friend and always remember: Allah is at the window!
The whole quranic translation wordled … courtesy here.
The three Dolls in a man’s life are:
1……..His Daughter, ‘Baby doll’
2……..His Girlfriend, ‘Barbie doll’
3……..His Wife, ………‘Panadol ‘.
Thanks to Syra :~)
When I Take a long time to finish, I am slow,
When my boss takes a long time, he is thorough
When I don’t do it, I am lazy,
When my boss does not do it, he is busy,
When I do something without being told, I am trying to be smart,
When my boss does the same, he takes the initiative,
When I please my boss, I am apple polishing,
When my boss pleases his boss, he is cooperating,
When I make a mistake, I’ am an idiot.
When my boss makes a mistake, he’s only human.
When I am out of the office, I am wondering around.
When my boss is out of the office, he’s on business.
When I am on a day off sick, I am always sick.
When my boss is a day off sick, he must be very ill.
When I apply for leave, I must be going for an interview
When my boss applies for leave, it’s because he’s overworked
When I do good, my boss never remembers,
When I do wrong, he never forgets
A man woke up early in order to P ray the F ajr P rayer in the masjid. He got dressed, made his ablution and was on his way to the masjid. On his way to the masjid, the man fell and his clothes got dirty.
He got up, brushed himself off, and headed home. At home, He changed His C lothes, made his ablution, and was, again, on his way to the masjid.
On his way to the masjid, H e F ell again and at the S ame S pot! He, again, got up, brushed himself off and headed home. At home he, once again, Changed His Clothes, made his ablution and was on his way to the masjid.
On his way to the masjid, H e M et a M an H olding a L amp. He asked the man of his identity and the man replied I S aw Y ou F all T wice on your way to the masjid, S o I B rought a L amp so I can L ight Y our W ay.’ The first man thanked him profusively and the two where on their way to the masjid.
Once at the masjid, the first man asked the man with the lamp to come in and pray Fajr with him. The second man refused. The first man asked him a couple more times and, again, the answer was the same. The first man asked him why he did not wish to come in and pray. He man replied
I am Satan(devil/ evil)
The man was shocked at this reply. Satan went on to explain, ‘I saw you on your way to the masjid and it was I who made you fall. When you went home, cleaned yourself and went back on your way to the masjid, Allah forgave all of your sins . I made you fall a second time, and even that did not encourage you to stay home, but rather, you went back on your way to the masjid.
Because of that, Allah forgave all the sins of the people of your household .
I was AFRAID if i made you fall one more time, then Allah will forgive the sins of the people of your village , so i made sure that you reached the masjid safely..’
So do not let Satan benefit from his actions. Do not put off a good that you intended to do as you never know how much reward you might receive from the hardships you encounter while trying to achieve that good.