My Boss

When I Take a long time to finish, I am slow,
When my boss takes a long time, he is thorough

When I don’t do it, I am lazy,
When my boss does not do it, he is busy,

When I do something without being told, I am trying to be smart,
When my boss does the same, he takes the initiative,

When I please my boss, I am apple polishing,
When my boss pleases his boss, he is cooperating,

When I make a mistake, I’ am an idiot.
When my boss makes a mistake, he’s only human.

When I am out of the office, I am wondering around.
When my boss is out of the office, he’s on business.

When I am on a day off sick, I am always sick.
When my boss is a day off sick, he must be very ill.

When I apply for leave, I must be going for an interview
When my boss applies for leave, it’s because he’s overworked

When I do good, my boss never remembers,
When I do wrong, he never forgets

Me and My Father

When I was 4 Yrs Old: My father is THE BEST

When I was 6 Yrs Old: My father seems to know everyone

When I was 10 Yrs Old: My father is excellent but he is short tempered

When I was 12 Yrs Old: My father was nice when I was little

When I was 14 Yrs Old : My father started being too sensitive

When I was 16 Yrs Old : My father can’t keep up with modern time

When I was 18 Yrs Old : My father is getting less tolerant as the days pass by

When I was 20 Yrs Old: It is too hard to forgive my father,
how could my Mum stand him all these years

When I was 25 Yrs Old: My father seems to be objecting to everything I do

When I was 30 Yrs Old: It’s very difficult to be in agreement with my father,
I wonder if my Grandfather was troubled by my father when he was a youth

When I was 40 Yrs Old: My father brought me up with a lot of discipline,
I must do the same

When I was 45 Yrs Old: I am puzzled, how did my father manage to raise all of us

When I was 50 Yrs Old: It’s rather difficult to control my kids, how much did my father suffer for the sake of upbringing and protecting us

When I was 55 Yrs Old: My father was far looking and had wide plans for us,
he was gentle and outstanding.

When I became 60 Yrs Old: My father is THE BEST

Note that it took 56 Yrs to complete the cycle and return to the starting point
‘My father is THE BEST’

Let’s be good to our parents before it’s too late and pray to Allah that our own children will treat us even better than the way we treated our parents .

Lizard ‘found inside hen egg’

An Australian doctor cracked open hen’s egg to make his dinner - and says he found a fully formed gecko lizard inside.

Dr Peter Beaumont, 60, said: “I was cracking the eggs into a pan when I noticed one of them was all cloudy. I looked at the shell and saw a tiny gecko.” Dr Beaumont insisted the lizard had not got into the shell after he’d cracked it open because the reptile was embedded between the inner-shell and the egg’s membrane.

He believes it may have crawled into the chicken to feast on an embryo - and got stuck. The egg then formed around the lizard. “If you open up a dead chook, you sometimes see the partly-formed eggs,” he said. “The gecko could have been looking for a feed and got trapped.”

Dr Beaumont said eggs sometimes contained salmonella, a potentially fatal food poisoning often carried by other lizards. “Maybe this happens all the time,” he said. “Maybe geckos regularly crawl inside chickens for a feed. And this one was unlucky enough to get stuck in an egg.”

Dr Beaumont has taken the egg, which he bought from a Darwin supermarket, to health experts to examine. ananova

So watch out next time

Letters to God

Courtesy: Hassan

Project Lead Reviewing ;-)

 Dear Manager (HR),
Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found

Hard at work in his cubicle. Bob works independently, without

Wasting company time talking to colleagues. Bob never

Thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always

Finishes given assignments on time. Often Bob takes extended

Measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping

 coffee

Breaks. Bob is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no

Vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound

Knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Bob can be

Classed as a high-s employee, the type which cannot be

Dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Bob be

Promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be

Sent away as soon as possible.


Signed - Project Leader

.


.


A MEMO WAS SOON SENT FOLLOWING THE LETTER:

Dear Manager (HR),

That stupid idiot was reading over my shoulder when I wrote the report

Sent to you earlier today. Kindly read only the odd lines (1, 3, 5,

7, 9,11, 13)

For my true assessment of him.


Signed - Project Leader

Meteor Destroyed the whole world o_O

Newton’s not Out

Newton  

 

Once all the scientists die and go to heaven. They decide to play hide-n-seek

Unfortunately Einstein is the one who has to hide………..He is supposed to count upto 100…and then start searching…..

Everyone starts hiding except Newton………

Newton just draws a square of 1 meter and stands in it right in front of Einstein.

Einstein’s counting 1,2,3……97,98,99…..100…….. He opens his eyes and finds Newton standing in front……..

Einstein says “newton’s out..newton’s out…..”

Newton denies and says “I am not out……..I am not Newton……”

All the scientists come out to see how he proves that he is not Newton.

Newton says “I am standing in a square of area 1m squared…..

That makes me Newton per meter squared……

since one Newton per meter squared is one Pascal, I’m Pascal, Therefore Pascal is OUT…….!

Bugs Convention ;-)