LION in Pakistan

In the poor zoo of Pakistan, a lion was frustrated as he was offered not more than 1 kg meat a day.

The lion thought its prayers were answered when one US Zoo Manager visited the zoo and requested the zoo management to shift the lion to the US Zoo .

The lion was so happy and started thinking of a central A/c environment, a goat or two every day and a US Green Card also.

On its first day after arrival, the lion was offered a big bag, sealed very nicely for breakfast.

The lion opened it quickly but was shocked to see that it contained few peanuts.

Then the lion thought that may be they cared too much for him as they were worried about his stomach as he had recently shifted from Pakistan.

The next day the same thing happened.

On the third day again the same food bag of peanuts was delivered.

The lion was so furious, it stopped the delivery boy and blasted at him, ‘Don’t you know I am the lion…….. .king of the Jungle… what’s wrong with your management? What nonsense is this? Why are you delivering peanuts to me?’

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The delivery boy politely said, ‘Sir, I know you are the king of the jungle but ……. did you know that you have been brought here on a ‘MONKEY’s VISA’!!!!!!

MORAL: Better to be a LION in Pakistan than a MONKEY elsewhere.

What If Titanic sank Today?

Reaction from different countries:

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U.S.A:

“A ship coming to Freedom was attacked by terrorists.

We will not sit quiet and we will teach them a lesson.

Bin Laden you can run but you cannot hide we will find you and destroy your Al-Qaeda network.”

(President Bush……..whoelse?)

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U.K:

“I have spoken to the President of United States and we have both agreed that the sinking of Titanic is significant prove that Saddam Hussein is clearly behind this attack, Iraq is imposing a threat to the world and this has to be dealt with.”

(Prime Minister Blair)

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Iraq:

“LOL!!!” (President Saddam Hussain)

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Israel:

“These Hamas and other terrorist network is enough evidence to say that sinking of Titanic is not an accident but it was their suicide bombers who have commited such a crime.

We will now impose curfew on the Palestinians, detain them, exile them, kill them, starve them, destroy their homes and refugee camps.”

(Ariel Sharon….)

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Canada:

“Titanic who?” (Canadian Prime Minister)

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India:

“Is mein Pakistan ka haath hai. We have received passports of Pakistani extremists from the Titanic debris.

Pakistanis will have to pay for such horrendous act of terrorism. We are now deploying more soldiers to the border.”

(Prime Minister Vajpayee)

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Pakistan:

“Sind may Double Sawari per ghair muayyana muddat ke liye pabandi”

(President Musharraf)

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UN:

“Shit happens right??”

(Sec.Gen. Kofi Annan)

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Survivors:

“Uhh. Helllooo. Is anyone listening…it was an iceberg..hellloooooo.”

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New Pakistani Film

HERO :
President Bush & Musharraf

HEROINE :
Benazir

VILLAIN:
Qazi Husain Ahmed, Imran Khan

SCRIPTED IN :
USA

SHOT IN :
Pakistan

CHARACTER ACTOR :
Amin Fahim

FRIENDLY APPEARANCE :
Saudi King

FRAUDY :
Asif Ali Zardari

COMEDIAN :
Shaikh Rasheed

SUPPORTING ACTOR :
Fazal ur Rahman

CHARACTERLESS ACTORS :
Chaudharies

DANCERS :
Sherry Rehman, Kashmala Tariq

MUSIC BY :
MQM

ACTION BY :
Pak Army

SUSPENSE BY :
Chief Justice

FINANCE BY :
India & Israel

Geo Musharraf

On flour excursion

Tragic Tale!

SIALKOT, Jan 15: To avoid headache due to shortage of flour, schoolteachers on Tuesday sought help of their students who queued up in large numbers for getting the commodity for their academics.

Students of various government schools were seen standing at flour sale points in Daska city to buy atta for their teachers, earning in return leisurely hours away from classrooms.

While most of the students this correspondent talked to said their teachers had sent them to fetch flour, many were on short leave for getting flour for their homes. “We’ll be right back to school after dropping the flour bags at homes”, they said.

The district administration has set up 14 sale points in Sialkot’s urban and rural parts for the convenience of the consumers, but the quantity made available hardly fulfils the need of the population.

The Rangers have already taken control of the 24 flour mills (18 in Sialkot and six in Narowal), monitoring the flour production and supply. District Food Controller Rohail Butt told newsmen that the Rangers stood at the mills in Sialkot, Daska, Bhopalwala, Sambrial, Pasrur, Shakargarh, Narowal and surrounding areas and were regularly checking the records of the flour mills.

Via Dawn

US Intelligence??

American Intelligence	Action By US Govt.	Results
Vietnam can be occupied  - In future we can have access to china from here	Attack	It is a mess (Run away)
Japanese should learn a lesson	Atom Bomb	Thousands of civilians killed - A permanent stigma for USA
Russia is going to attack on Afghanistan	Appreciate them to go for war - Help the Afghanis to fight against Russia - Sell Opium to get more money	Russia collapsed Financially
Afghanis got Russian arms	Don�t let them make a government	Afghanistan internal war for 11 years
Saddam is going for war on Iran	Appreciate him - Sell him arms (Don�t forget Iran - sell them arms too)	Iran Iraq war of 10 years
Saddam is going for war on Kuwait	Appreciate him	A severe attack on Kuwait
Kuwait is occupied	Send US forces to protect KSA and Kuwait from Iraq Oppression	US forces are still in these countries
Saddam is no more with us	Sanctions - Sanctions - Sanctions	150000 children died due to non availability of medicine
Osama is going to attack on WTC	None	WTC Attacked
Osama is in Afghanistan	Occupy Afghanistan	Osama is not in Afghanistan - Afghanistan is a mess - UNO should take control
Osama has a link with Iraq	Occupy Oil - I mean Occupy Iraq	Protests world wide
Iraq has the weapons of mass destruction that we provided in previous wars	Oh - Occupy Iraq	Protest Increased
People of Iraq will welcome America	hmmm Go for attack	Iraq occupied - Hundreds of people died -  (”We were telling a lie about weapons of mass destruction and nuclear weapons in Iraq ” Bush )
People have not welcomed USA	Ask UNO for help	Iraq is a mess - UNO should help us
India and Pakistan are going to solve the Kashmir Conflict	We will lose two very important customers of our arms , Start bomb blasts on both sides	Hundreds of people died in Karachi Baluchistan and Mumbai Mission Accomplished Successfully
Hammas is fighting for their land	They are terrorist - Oppress them	More “Terrorists” are born
Hezbollah is support hammas	Hezbollah is also terrorist - we should teach them a lesson	Israel is buying American arms
People of Lebanon support Hezbollah	Support attack on Lebanon - The hate for Hezbollah will increase - Kill civilians so that Hezbollah can learn a lesson for messing with our friend	Hundreds of civilians died.
People of Lebanon support Hezbollah more then past - In future Hezbollah will win the elections -	Oh shit	Lebanon is a mess - UNO should help us
People are turning against us	Ask Osama to release a new video	Coming Soon!!!

 

 

Pakistan’s Education System

Ironic!!!

Columbian Model by Javed Iqbal (Urdu)